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2008-09-09T05:53:58Z

Ah Hah! A reader. (don't loose him/her, grab them in the beginning!)

Can't you be charged or sued for that?

Ahem.

Ever have a "sit-com" moment happen to you? (yes, good guess, I did...and right again, I will disclose...)

Let me set the scene...when at my computer, I am sitting in an old, cranky, second-hand "computer" chair, acquired when cast off by my brother...It was cast off because it, when it feels like it, without warning, sometimes plummets to the floor. The way to avoid this, is just not to move the chair when sitting, either forwards or backwards, or side to side. It is perfectly ok to lean back on it, fortunately.

The reason you can't move it, my scientific mind ascertained, is because a) the lever to collapse the chair protrudes from the side a comic length, and b) my computer room is packed with "stuff" to the point that a sardine would become claustrophobic.

I am sitting at the said computer, and the girlfriend calls...

Resting comfortably on my precarious eerie, we chat about various and sundry, until the subject of weight comes up. She mentions the dreaded BMI. (body mass index). Girrr! I hate the BMI! It is a load! It is meant for elves! It would make everyone anorexic! She brings up gastric by-pass surgery, and how the qualifying weight for the government to pay for it has been lowered from 100lbs to 75lbs overweight...

Sigh! Now I have to discern if she is concerned about her weight, and if so do I say no, or a bit, or do I say she is silly, or do I ignore the comment? What is best? What can I say to alleviate her concerns, without going too far if she was just passing on an FYI???

I lean back on my chair, for inspiration, and to concentrate. What I ended up saying to her, was:

"Baby! I know myself...crack...argh!!!! ow, ow, ow".

I had dropped the phone...

why?

While leaning backwards on my chair, talking about being overweight, the plastic stopper that only allows the chair to go back so far...snapped. On my way over backwards, I lashed out for something to hold on to to stop the flight to the floor. In so lashing, I threw the phone, and kicked the corner of the desk with my ankle. I still ended on my back, just with a sore ankle, and no phone.

Now I am stuck between the foot of the bed and the dresser, wedged, and my baby is on the other end of the phone, wondering what the hell is going on.

I "ow" some, and houdini myself out of this embarrassing situation, collect the phone, and relate what just happened.

(Was I looking for sympathy? If I was, it came only days later...) Her response?

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH...ooo....ooooh.......HAHAHAHAHAHAHA"
"Oh, Ooh, Ah....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"
"Oh, god, I shouldn't laugh like thisssssss.....hahahahahahah"
"It hurts, my.....sides.....ah......ah....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

(((Guess what folks? Turns out I said just the right thing!)))

007eleven

Order! ORDER! This journal will come to order!